Working on good

I don't often post to this blog anymore. It seems as life has transitioned for me, so had my need to write and in which venue I choose to do so is an indication of where I am, in my mind and in my heart.

Recently I have been stricken by some health issues and my tolerance for so many things have diminished. I am less patient, less forgiving but also so much more loyal, quick to smile, and ready to laugh, joke and love. I have been relying heavily on the people around me, often not even realizing that is what I am doing. I have found some semblance of normal in the face of transition but I know that my focus has diminished, my work suffered and my heart often hurts.

It is in these moments that I remember a lesson I learned from one of the most amazing women I have ever known, Kimra. She once asked me how I was doing and I said fine. She looked at me and asked again how I was doing. With tears in my eyes I uttered that I was fine. She told me it was okay to be honest. That is was okay to want to be fine or good but not be there yet. It was okay to be working on good. That's what I am now, I am working on good. I am not there all the time but I am so close on so many days. Often times I am GREAT and those days push me through the less favorable ones.

We live in a society where appearances mean so much. Who we are is so tied to who we portray ourselves as. Our persona is almost as important as the true honest personality inside. In this society it is often hard to remember that we are infallible. That we are always learning. That we are pushing through to new levels of growth, love, respect and accountability. We are walking along side one another on a path to understanding. So it is okay not to understand it all right away.

In past posts I have talked about love, life and death and I have talked about my work that focuses on change and progress for women around the world, but I never was okay with having a down day. I was always so intent on the optimistic point of view that I rarely recognized the healing process. Here and now, I recognize that the journey is beautiful even when it is hard. As Kimra always says, joy for the journey. As I continue on my journey I am working on good but in every day, every minute and every second I am finding more joy than any one journey should allow. This is how we work on good. This is how we make it to tomorrow, by loving what we have in front of us today.