Running

Sometimes I get entirely overwhelmed with situations that are probably at their core trivial and meaningless. Having just come off a series of conflicts with family and friends a few months ago, I find myself harboring anger that lays dormant inside me. Most days there is no direct reason to be angry at all of the people with which I had somewhat misguided interactions with but there are times where a simple statement of fact, a comment brings back the reminders of the horrible way I felt. It can be a name, an idea, an object. Last night, driving at 1 am, my mind wandered to the name of a woman who I don't even know. Her interactions with me are only through others but are catalysts for change and conflict within my relationships. Without knowing her, her mention, interaction with her, to know that there is any association with her draws me back to a place of anger. Sitting in my car, all I wanted to do was run. Not in the escape my home and live under a bridge where no one knows me sense. Rather, the physical, feet on pavement, hard breathing, really run and get somewhere sense. I run to make myself forget how angry I am. It is my therapy, it is my cure. Sometimes I will run so far and so hard that I forget why I even started running and I feel free again. In a life and world where I have little true independence and freedom, I free my body to free my mind. I hope I find time for a run today.