A Hodge Podge of Information

I don't work, not really anyway and therefore I obviously have a lot of time to think. Sometimes I think I have too much time to think because my thoughts wander in circles with few new things to inspire creativity.

That being said, here are some things I've been thinking about lately: (in no particular order)

I was at my boyfriends house, no doubt watching something ridiculous on Spike TV. You know, that channel for men that they watch with no regard to the women in the room. Well, anyway, a commercial came on for Girls Gone Wild. You know the one I mean, the video where girls that have lost most of their decision making abilities are exploited for selfish men around the world. Yeah, that one, I knew you knew what it was. Well, anyway, my boyfriend and his friend began talking non-chalantly about the guy who makes those glorious videos and about how he was in jail, tax evasion and taking advantage of underage girls. As I listened to this with blurred breasts in my peripheral vision, I couldn't help but get angry. I thought about all the work I had done at school, to help women who had been hurt, attacked, or anyway disenfranchised. I thought about my family and my co-workers in women's organizations and thought how would they feel if they or someone they knew had been taken advantage of at their weakest moment. I am hardly a prude or someone that believes nudity is a bad thing. If you are an artist or a bad ass performer, by all means wear your sexy clothes, express your art form. If you are a woman going out, of course embrace your body and sexuality. The difference is, if you decide to do something, good for you, you have the ability to maintain the class and dignity (or lack thereof) in your decision making and I applaud you for that. If you've lost the ability to know if your saying yes or no and someone coaxes you, I weep the loss you will feel later on. I hope and pray that that is not how you hope to seek the attention of the world and I hope that the bastards that take advantage, that make videos, solicit drunk girls, and make no point to respect the opposite sex fall from good graces.

In that same vein, again at my boyfriends house, I was listening to whatever music was playing and I heard the lyric "If it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid." Wow, in my life, in my world, and in my experience, I don't see how anyone could say that, or even hear that and possibly even think that that could somehow be construed as okay. Point blankly let me say, NOT OKAY. It seems to me that people are numb to what they hear, they hear too much and it passes by them without ever raising a red flag. Doesn't even seem to raise a pink flag. Makes you wish the world was just a little bit better of a place.

In other news, I saw my childhood best friend yesterday. What a refreshing sight. If you know me or even someone with my type of personality, you know I worry a lot. I worry about not having a job, about doing right by my family and my boyfriend and my friends. I worry about doing right by me when one of the above does something I don't like. I worry about losing my identity in my relationship. I worry about gaining weight and losing too much. I worry about my health and well being. I worry about where I'll live. I worry I worry I worry. My friend, she worries too, but not like me. She laughs, she jokes and she sees the brighter side. Much like I do at times but she seemed to step in at a particularly big worry time. As I approach theone year annversary of the nothing I've been doing, she brought a freshness into my life that I hadn't had since we went to different middle schools. She brought me inspiration and man did I laugh. I realized I need to stop waiting around while everyone else does their living and calls me when they are done. I am going to live. What used to be waiting for my friends, my family, my bf, my job, and my life to get started, is now going to be doing. Doing what? Maybe opening a Pinkberry, maybe having fun, maybe running around like I don't have a care in the world. Whatever it might be, oh boy will I laugh while doing it.

So things are going pretty well, the sun is out today so I'll for sure be playing outside, in a land far far away from the drugs and drinks that lead to the commercials that lead to the songs that lead me to worry about my sisters of choice.

Love and Peace,
Samira